Enhancement

If performance-enhancing drugs are so scandalous, why aren't these? There is a thin line between acceptable and unacceptable performance enhancement, and while I understand that altering your physical ability chemically crosses the line, what about altering your physical ability, well, physically? Tiger Woods, for instance, recently had LASIK surgery, a perfectly acceptable form of eyesight correction, especially since he already wore contacts that improved his vision. But as the Slate article points out, athletes aren't allowed to doctor the ball, the bat, or use extra devices in the field of play, but you can doctor yourself. If you take this argument too far, it could apply to swim caps and bike gloves, both performance-enhancing. Maybe we should all practice sports like the Greeks...? That would eliminate all this fuss about performance enhancement.

And speaking of performance enhancement, they say that frog cocktails are popular in the Andes because of their aphrodisiac qualities. I have eaten frog legs. They are yummy, if a little bony. But I could not, would not, swallow them in a cocktail.

Maybe after you get your 20/15 LASIK vision, your steroid dose, and your frog cocktail, your performance will be enhanced enough to climb a mountain of Chinese buns. Sign up now for next year's competition.