Those Frilly Miniskirts and Why They Need To Stop

I do not understand the frilly miniskirts that every single girl in the country seems to be wearing. They defy every fashion rule I've ever been taught.

1. They make your legs look short, particularly when paired with flip-flops, which, although a wonderful shoe, do nothing to enhance your gams. Worse, they are sometimes paired with Uggs. It creates the Stubby Leg Effect, and which of us really wants to be known for her stubby legs?

2. They sit below your natural waist and the frilliness begins right above the largest part of your caboose. This has two effects: making your derriere look about twice as large as it is (You know what they say about horizontal lines making things look wider? It's true.) and highlighting that little pudge above your hips and below your waist. I have nothing against the Pudge. It is a natural part of a woman's body. But it's nothing we need to highlight, is it? It can be wonderfully incorporated into an outfit that makes you look slimmer instead of stubbier.

3. They are usually made out of the sort of cotton that pills, fades, and generally falls apart. I notice that the skirts on the street in August are significantly duller than the skirts I saw in June. Maybe it's the bright sunlight. Maybe it's my eyes. Maybe it's the cheap quality of said skirts.

Thank you. I am done.