Splenda

"Tastes just like real sugar!" they say. "No calories!" they say. "Made from sugar, tastes like sugar! You can even bake with it!" they say.

The other day, I couldn't find any sugar in the office for my tea, so I shrugged and decided to give Splenda a try. I recall trying it some time ago, and perhaps disliking it, and I have a general suspicion for anything that claims to be just like something else (taste!), particularly when it is also claiming to be not at all like that something else (calories!). But I tried it.

Splenda, my friends, DOES NOT TASTE LIKE SUGAR. It tastes like fake sugar, powdered, chemical sugar. My mouth tasted like stale toothpaste for an hour afterwards, and my tongue felt numb-ish. I drank another cup of unsweetened tea just to get the flavor out, and still it remained!

Also, how do you bake with fake sugar? Ew! EW.

My aversion to Equal and Sweet n Lo (is that what it's called?) is solidified, too. I don't trust any of them. Not only do they not taste like real sugar, they aren't real...anything. If I want sweet, I want *true* sweet, not fake sweet. I don't think a teaspoon or two of the real stuff in my tea is going to cause me any real harm. I can spare 30 calories for a real teaspoon of sugar.